Thursday, February 17, 2011

chunk vs. the angry itch

My itches are less itchy every day, but to help me get better, I have to have special baths twice a week.

I don't really like baths.

It's not that I don't like the extra cuddles and kisses and snuggles I get after my bath, when the people tell me I smell so good. And I like doing zoomies around the living room with Eva Peace after we've both had baths and get all crazy. But I don't like being so wet and having to stand in the tub during my bath. The people turn on the bathroom heater so I'm not cold, and they put a special mat down in the bathtub so I don't slip around and get scared. So it really isn't that bad. I just don't like it as much as I like laying on my bed and chewing on my chewies.

Sometimes I act extra shivery and pathetic so the people don't make me take a bath. But that doesn't work so well. They just pat me on the head and turn up the heater and tell me I'm being a brave boy.

Here I am perfecting my I-am-so-pathetic-right-now look.

After I get rinsed off, I get all soaped up with medicated shampoo. Then I have to wait for five whole minutes while it soaks in. The people usually give me a massage all over while the soap is sitting, so this part I kind of like. (But I try not to let on. That would blow my whole pathetic routine.)

Me, getting un-soaped.

When the shampoo is done working, the people dump water all over me to get the soap off. They're careful not to get it in my eyes. I'm careful to shake and fling water all over, so that way the people have to be wet and soapy, too. I think it's only fair.

 After I'm rinsed, you'd think it would be time for me to get out of the bathtub. That is what happens for Eva, but it's not true for me. Because my skin on my tummy is still itchy and working on getting soft, I have a special medicated rinse that I have to use. It has to soak in for five minutes. I don't think that's necessary. It seems like so much waiting and soaking. But the people tell me I'll feel better when it's done. So here I stand.

Standing and waiting for the medicated rinse to soak in.

Finally, after they rinse me all over again and again, it's time to get dry. I would like this part, but the towel that Eva and I get to use is a big fluffy pink towel. That's when I'm glad the bathroom door is shut so no one can see me getting dried off with a fluffy pink towel.

Here you can see how thrilled I am with the pink towel.

After I get dried off in the tub for a long time and I'm not dripping anymore, New Mister picks me up and puts me on the floor. Then I get toweled on some more until I am mostly dry. I like to get toweled on my chest and tummy, where it itches the most. Sometimes my feet stomp because it feels so good. I also like to get my ears dried off, and I'll even help the people dry off my face by rubbing it on the towel and their pant legs.

Getting my ears dried off.

Me, getting my chest itchies itched with the towel.

This is the part where they call me the Queen of Sheeba.

Then, I finally get to get my shirt back on so I'm not so cold and naked anymore. The people tell me that every time I take a bath, I'm closer to not needing to wear my shirts. We'll see. I'm not sure I'm ready to let them go.

Then, when all the rinsing and soaping and rinsing and soaking and toweling is done, I get to have my favorite part of the baths... the COOKIES!!


  1. Chunk. You are a trooper. It sounds like you spend your WHOLE day in the tub. Your New Mister gives you just one, measly cookie for all that? What a rip! But your chest itchies will go away one day, right? Maybe when they do, no more baths! That would be sweet huh?

  2. Oh, but Chunklestein, you look so darn cute in your fluffy pink towel. And it's awfully thoughtful of you to shake off and get that stuff all over your people... you wouldn't want them to have the itchies, too. You're only being helpful in case they have itchies.

  3. Chunk, my fave taktik for trying to get out of having a baff is passive resistense, sort of liek how dirty hippys do at anti-war rallys and stuff liek that. It werks like this: jus pretend liek you're a toddler throween a tantrum and go all limp. Slide to the flor and flatten out liek a pankake. It maeks it harder for the hoomans to pick you up. Good luk with this taktik!

    P.S. Post-baff zoomies are the bestest!!12

  4. Chunky monkey, you are the King of the Sad and Pathetic look. You should seriously get an award for mastering that! And one day soon, all the standing and soaking (and looking pathetic) will be mostly a distant memory. You're such a hunk in your tee shirts!

  5. chunkers...I said it before and I'll say it are the CUTEST! I am overcome with cuteness every time I see a picture of you, even when you are trying to look sad and pathetic. I hope your itchies are all gone soon. I'm curious if your people know the cause of it?

  6. Your expressions in the bathtub are too cute. Though I still think you look quite dashing in a pink towel.

  7. Chunck, If I were your people, I would submit to your master-pathetic look. It's way tooooo charming.

  8. Hi Chunky! (Btw, did you know that rhymes with hunky???

    Bonnie here. Hey, don't worry about the pink towel, my mom tells my dad that real men CAN wear pink, but he doesn't buy it either, she just sighs and says, too bad, it looks so good with black or gray.

    Hey, one more thing my mom said about the itchies that might help. You see my fluffy sister had some problems with food that made her skin itch, the fur on her back fell out and she said something I didn't understand about "yeastie beasties". They must be FIERCE! Anywho, she had to have the baths, too, and she said that it felt really good that mom shampoo'd *first* with "Vet's Best Itch Relief Hot Spot Shampoo For Dogs" to gently get the flakies off - it felt good and it made lots of fun sudsies that the med-e-cated shampoo did not.

    But the BESTEST part of ALL was that after all the shampoo, she used "Vet's Best Hot Spot Itch Relief Spray for Dogs" which, instead of spraying, you can also dilute a bit in water per the label and squirt it on with an old shampoo bottle and leave it on - No Rinsing!!! It smells a little funky but feels so good and ya wanna hear something CRAZY??? Mom says it works better than Ben-e-drill gel and SHE USES IT, TOO! In fact, daddy got three bee stings and it took the itchy right away, he couldn't believe it! (He should have, my mommy is always right ;-)

    Gotta go now, Chunk, time for my nap! Hope you feel better soon. My fluffy sister is even fluffier than before, she just can't have beefy treats (poor thing!) and bar-lee so she has special chicken & rice food with avocado (I'm jealous about the avocado!).

    Bonnie (and mommy sends some, too!)

  9. awww. my poor pups have to get baths sometimes too. sometimes they get the blow dry! you are lucky you have avoided that.

  10. Mr. Chunk - you hit the jackpot with your people. Good for you. You deserve only the best, even if you do have to tolerate a pink towel. Callie goes to the pet wash and gets blown dry sometimes too. She's okay with that, but one time she did try to bite the blow dryer. I think she'd just had enough standing and wanted to go and roll in the mud some more. :-)

  11. You remind me so much of my own pooch, Boone-right down to those itchies,even-do your people know what it is that gives you itchies????

  12. Hi Chunk - do you think New Mister could video tape you and Eva doing zoomies? I would love to see it and see if matches my pittie Coco's spider dance? Could you ask him using those big sweet eyes of yours?

  13. Towel game is the best game.

  14. Help! Going through serious Chunk withdrawls.
    New Mr., please post something!
    From a Chunky/Hunky/Monkey fan.

  15. agreed with Nancy. I miss mr. chunk's adventures.

  16. Nancy agrees with lindsay!
    Please, please, New Mr., post something.
    By the way, we all hope you and your better-half adopt Chunk.
    But please, continue your posts of Chunky/Funky/Monkey/Hunky--so very funny, Punky.
    From, a fellow pitty owner.
    Okay...if you all want a first glimpse of Ellie Mae...with more to follow,
    Please write in and request more of Chunk.
    I WILL follow-up with Ellie pics and stories...I promise!